And now that I am a Mom, I see this time of my children's lives as a VERY different angle.....
And on the eve of a new school year, and our son starting school full time, I ask something of you, as I have said to MYSELF over and over and over in my own mind.....
PLEASE TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO BE KIND. We hope and pray that our children "get it". We hope that it clicks for them when we are kind. When we use our manners, when we use kind words and when we are helpful to those around us. Your kid's are watching YOU. You are what they KNOW, YOU are who they learn from. WE ARE WHO our children have learned from, from the very beginning.
I have very mixed emotions about sending Rylee off to school this week. HE is SO excited, so i have done everything in my power to SHOW excitement, and I joke (or he thinks so) that I'm so sad, and what am I going to do all day without him at home, yadda-yadda-yadda-right? Well, actually inside I am a ball of nerves. It's not because I'm "that" helicopter mom (maybe it has something to do with it) but it's the fact that I worry. And Ryan, anyone of my friends, and family members can tell you that that is my biggest thing working against me. It's not something that I enjoy. I don't like to worry, I just have a hard time NOT worrying.....
Last week, I had read something that a fellow adoptive mom wrote: "Today I am sad for ______, a little girl in his class said he was a poop face, because his skin was brown like poop."
AND
It's the images of the school shootings that go through my head, the articles on social media that are posted about "little brown boys" needing to grow up watching their backs, so they are not the targets in today's society-It's all of the things that are becoming very "REAL" now that he is entering into kindergarten, all of those things "SCARE" me......
I know that I should not worry about something that to us has not even been an issue-but at the same time, I don;t want to be ignorant, and I just worry about my son being SO excited about school and SO ready for something- and as it is with ANY child, you pray that there isn't something silly that deflates that excitement...and I pray that NO CHILD ever has to go through hurt (which, we all know cannot be avoided). I just feel like if we're all doing our JOBS as parents, children never know HOW to act like THAT. (However, THAT is)......
So, since becoming a mom-I have OFTEN told myself how cruel I am sure I was growing up. How cruel under my breath, or even out loud I sometimes can be even now, as an adult-which is even worse. Each child is someones "baby", their pride and joy-with the EXACT same feelings that you have about your children right now.
And NONE of this scares me enough to second guess our decision to become a trans-racial family. Not once at all, but it's made us aware. And I wouldn't want it to scare you either if you're thinking about it. There are challenges, just like any other family has.....
Jen Hatmaker gave her children a lil' "Before School Pep Talk" to her kiddos, and it was GREAT, and it stuck with me.....
"First day of school talk to the kids: "You might regret being rude, aloof, cool, snobby, exclusive, or obnoxious. But you will never regret being kind. Be those kids. Look for the strange kid, the new kid, the lonely kid, the teased kid. Those are the best people to practice your kindness on."
- Jen Hatmaker
So, this year I am "that mom" that is joining the rest of you on the whole madness of starting a new year, and I am hoping and praying that tomorrow, instead of worrying I will promise, to TRY and smile, and be excited and THANKFUL, that our sweet boy is here, in America-with an education-with friends, and family who love him VERY VERY much-THAT is what I need to focus on...
Here's to a safe and blessed 2013-2014 school year to you all!!!
