The Love/Hate of social media....

For quite sometime I have struggled with what I WANT from social media.

I have struggled with the thoughts of giving it up entirely, only to figure out that it would be not a great idea for my 31 business....it's a great marketing tool for people, a great way to get a hold of me for my business...ultimatly I can't give it up as a whole.  And there are WAY too many people we have met across the country with our adoptions, that I can't fathom the idea of them not being a part of our lives....

Limit myself? Well, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, epic fail a lot of days.

Why is this something that I have struggled with?  Atleast ONE time a day, it makes me feel like I'm not doing "enough" for family, my husband, my kids, my friends.  That's not just with facebook, it's with the whole Pinterest thing too.  Sometimes I would like to THANK PINTEREST (insert sarcasm) for making me feel like the most uncreative person, the most un-involved mommy, and maybe THE most un-motivated, or non-trendy person that ever walked this earth.  Ok, now that might be a stretch, but that's not to say those thoughts do not enter my mind at any given time.

If it weren't for these things, I would be in my bubble where I feel like i really have the eye for being a LIIIIITLE bit creative, a mommy that tucks the kiddos in everynight with bedtime stories and that wearing something black everyday with a added splash of bling has me feeling pretty darn good about myself all while going back to the gym for a 3 month period while taking 9 months off to do whatever the heck i want, and then regret it later......

Then again, it was times like today. Literally, 10 minutes ago when I was in Rylee's room getting his bed ready for a nap.  I hear Rylee say to Ezra "Ezzie, here let me tuck you into bed, here is your elmo, and your B, and here's your pink elephant" and as i peek in the bedroom i see him give her a hug and a smooch after pulling her covers up to her chin.  I literally walked away with tears in my eyes.  After all, I don't think my children expect me to be super mom.  It's ME having the expectations of myself that I feel is the failure everyday.  I think I need to tell myself we're doing just fine, easier said than done.  I still think I can do more.....that is something I don't think will ever change......